May I find you my utmost truth

Today, someone told me something pronounced. She dared to say that death is the only truth we have in life. Honestly, it disturbed me a little lot, as I’m not used to absorb life in such a sceptical manner, so rawly in a sense. What was I to say back? Cause well, I can undoubtedly say that I prefer to believe that there’s some things worthy of one’s belief, things we may and should expect from, for that expectancy is what, ultimately and in my opinion, sprinkles meaning on all this.

“Nothing or no one is indispensable”, she affirmed, and well, from the little turbulence I’ve lived so far, I might be open agree with it. I may say “Yes, humans think, humans have the aptitude to rationalize reality and act accordingly and with logic. Humans can betray just as those betrayed can move on.” I’ve moved on from a few things, people… definitely. We must choose to do it, and by doing so we are admitting the very same ephemerality that defines human interactions, or more profoundly, the bare human emotions and our notions. For even that that can be called intrinsic is open to mutation. It’s almost like we can’t even be sure of our own mode of action as we are victims of the occasion, and many times, illusion.

This sight and then perception of individuality as the only grounded attribute of our singular existence is empowering, as powerful as heat on haze… murk vanishes and we are left with maybe another version of ourselves, someone now gazing outwards slightly differently. Does a polished viewpoint mean coming closer to happier moments? Does happiness reside in being sure of how rightly we see things, on being aware of us and others, plainly? Or does that clairvoyance bring merely bigger and bigger fields of doubt, and discontentment, for it would only unveil further possible deception?

That’s why… well, it’s antithetic the way this matter is laid out. It’s a game of endless consequences, acts and outcomes, on repeat. To be sceptical is to overanalyse and thus, regard all with disbelief for we believe we actually know the facts. But will life always output the same result as long as we act consciously enough to maintain a frugal string of operations? We aren’t machines, so we hope and watch change and can’t help but to feel contained in it. Change moulds us and we might never be the same again. And from here, I may continue affirming that the change we chose for us, that we can bear and if we cannot, then that’s our mistake to have opted unwisely. It’s the exotic change that’s surprising, the change others inflame in us, or not that but all the parts of ourselves we’ve transformed and adapted with a purpose that is now inessential, invalid. We became dispensable and what’s our worth if others are willing to dispense us and forget the terms and conditions behind all this, like that?, we think. It isn’t so linear.

So, if the truth we can count on is but one, then what is all this? I think you really can’t live solely on that truth. Then what’s the world and the cravings, and the prospects of something? Then how come there’s humanity and compromise, there’d be none as soon as we saw all this as pointless, faithless. Having this said, I still reckon this conjecture of vulnerability to eventuality. Let me not be utopic to an extent I will defend the existence of countless certainties because they’re gladly finite, it’d be boring otherwise. But still, we shall not interpret darkness as the only mute and ugliest truth we’ll come to face or as a rare dose of certitude that life felt like serving us with, one we’ll never come to receive from anyone else ever. That I could even consider to be the only eternal lie we can sow inside us. Cause someone once taught me to believe in magic, and I must say that “Yes, I do… of course I do!”. What more is there to believe in if not in this fearlessness of ours?


8 thoughts on “May I find you my utmost truth

  1. Thanks LG for such an elaborate comment, i loved reading it and thereafter talking to you on my own blog. My dearest friend Ric the random lone beachwalker again got lost. He always does.
    Okay, what I said was that death is the only truth, the truth that you can be sure of, eternal, indisputable. No one can argue on that. Given this fact I did not dispute the truths that a life brings with it, but the ones that may or may not stay with you, the ones that you gained with experience and those that are taught to you, ones that strike your existence and those that you made. But despite all this death still remains inevitable. And you screening it as a dark aspect of your story is wrong. Completely wrong, I infact told Ric the positives of recognizing death as an eternal truth. It motivates u, it pushes you to do what you want to, it keeps you at your best… Only if u screen it white not dark. I dont say that keep thinking about death, no, never… But i affirmed yes, nothing is indispensable. All will someday be lost, even memories… In pretext of death. But that does not mean you spoil all, u stop feeling for people, never relate to anyone or take someone or thing for granted, no. That signals to shove away the things that trouble you, nothing lasts until you give up on it. Ric you are the yang, see the positive sides my statement offered, which i explained fairly already and again now. I also mentioned to you that humans fault at keeping themselves above nature, thinking themselves to be the best creation, giving into fictions of life…the yin. Nature is above all and death is a prominent feature along with birth. I hope this pulls you out of dark my friend, m sorry to have intimidated you last day. 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes… yes to screen it white, to see things simply for what they are. That is life’s imposition. That is the right way to go, for darkness is so rarely of any good 😉
      And oh yes, you intimidated me with your obviously right ideology. Can it be so simple? I seem to never accept it as that, I always make my try in rebelling against what’s simple and clear, must be a sickness of mine ahah… I’m like a kid who lives trying to defy you.
      But sure, I kind of know, it’s true what you now (and before) spoke, as you are so thinkative and always prone to be the most rational I’ve come to know. And yup that facade is very interesting, or brilliant as some would say… 😉 I like to listen to all as you know… and also it always feels funny when the lord of darkness descends to teach one on how to screen it white).
      Thanks for all, shy kisses from this lonely guy! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. In my humble opinion…Death indeed is the only certainty we have…I do not see that as pessimistic…just realistic! No point pretending it is not so. I also would like to add that there can be a lot of good things to be enjoyed before you get to that ultimate and unavoidable point..Death. xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Dear lone,

    to conitue my original thoughts on your post, your friend is wrong, very wrong, in my option that is about nothing and no one is indispensable, unless she meant when it came to death then she is right on the money. I don’t agree walking away from people, as I have had it done to me, I trust very few in this life and hold the ones I do quite close, and one of those people choose to walk away, weather their reasons were for the greater good or not is besides the point, you don’t just walk away from someone. I to believe and magic and I also believe that yes people do hope for things, dream of things and wish for things, but lets put reality to the test, at the end of the day, you know that some day your gonna die, we know it, we know it, and we know it, its the only truth that we have. ofcorse that being said, that is mine and your friends truth, that doesn’t mean it has to be yours, and also on a side note, I would question your friend on her reasons behind such a thing, because it sounds to me that she’s looking for an out, or for someone to show her something different


    Liked by 2 people

  4. dear lone,

    when I first read this post, it was the very top part and got as far as this

    ‘Today, someone told me something pronounced. She dared to say that death is the only truth we have in life. Honestly, it disturbed me a little lot, as I’m not used to absorb life in such a sceptical manner, so rawly in a sense. What was I to say back?’

    I was gonna say speaking from 90% of my pessimist views on life, I believe this same as she that death is our only truth, but since there is clearly more to read, I must read on, will comment again when I have read all the way through


    Liked by 2 people

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