This that tormented me

So much, only so we’re now so lost, this old love and me, so old already as a result of how little you have let me live. It felt harsh to keep like this, lifeless. The heart, I left it with her, the head, I lost it to myself. It had to be like that, there was no escape, definitely none for someone like me.

Me, today a less gray memory of what once I sensed as mine, blurred but concrete inside me, something I will not forget. Inside, I bring less, only you whole and I fear it just might be too much. I, that should never have brought her, steal her from herself so fluently. It’s ugly but it would be worse if I was to now walk all by myself, plainly deserted. In the end, I’ll always like myself more than anyone else, and that’s why I’m taking her with me, only so she can know how happy can be a man who needs what he has not, to become someone he never really was but still intends to be, with she occupying what of him exists no more.

Hehe… and all this, all this because of you, girl.

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