Half numb, half lying

Soporous during the day yet the dusk seems to return and approach with some reminiscent essence, a past scent, intensified but prone to evaporate just as soon as it arrives. To push it away or to invite it, or maybe not invite but instead accept it whenever it is in touch… either reaction will do, for the result here to be achieved is of no importance anymore. And yes, I made myself believe in that so I could endure what I couldn’t tend or control. I hadn’t any other way of reacting to a struggle that was mum, that could be summed up by the sum of our two faint gazes.

The days blow it away, remove these ashes of a heart that never quite burned for anyone able to receive such heat. It warmed me instead, and eventually you, for your heart might have been kind of numb or petrified back then, in need of some friction that would not only heat but repeat, and stay still and unasking.

To ask and to expect, one resulting from the other. Both leading souls sold to someone to ruin, with hopes of something else that would go further on than even we are capable of expecting. Except those lucky days, they do not often have a warning sign, not an inherent shine that gives them away, notifying us, wannabe users of such day that would slowly turn into nights and more days ofΒ untethered feelings. Peace, and what if it came to stay, that serenity?

Can someone used to waiting and hoping enjoy what’s offered after all, or will instead keep awaiting something possibly better, endless, he and his own mannerism, that overall apathetic awareness. Yes, that’s too a means of existing, to believe in a utopia that will hardly materialize, hardly, only because any perfection lived and felt will always fall short of what we imagined it’d be.

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20 thoughts on “Half numb, half lying

  1. Hi, thanks for liking one of my posts! Really appreciate it πŸ˜€
    I checked out your blog and it’s brilliant. I really love your writing style, keep it up!
    Have a good day πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I call it trying to fit the pieces of the puzzle where one either is not really a part of it or just a substitute. Hmmm…Friction would result then…But what about the consequences? Waiting? False hopes?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Perfection isn’t what we wait for, the wait is for that imperfect person who makes the fights, curses and even bitching seem memorable. Who makes that imperfection in yourself to seem perfect just for them. Wait is not a mannerism adopted by us, its something youve got in return of bad lucks maybe. But better hearts too

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The secret of happiness is low expectations. There are times when u are excited about something but still sometimes, it ends up in not happening. It hurts but we aren’t always have darker days in our life. Let those lucky days remain lucky for us surprisingly but we should also accept the disappointments. Well written Ricardo πŸ™‚ (Y)

    Liked by 2 people

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