Am I less sane for thinking of what I haven’t gotten and perceive how it changed me, indubitably?
Will it taste like something more to live on that said nothing which was once more than I needed to understand what I didn’t know I wanted?
Am I different now from who I would be if what didn’t happen hadn’t happened?
Frankly, I don’t know if what I hereby express is fruit of what I haven’t told you or just a reminiscence of a feeling that although nebulous, I used to sense in you, sometimes, when you would do me the favor of attending to what my lost eyes would tell cause I didn’t know what to say.
I know I was someone else back then, someone who still walked in my direction, slow, anxious to become one who wouldn’t prosper on its own. Feeling that I want to ignore all this and along with it, the whole I’ve grown to be doesn’t make sense anymore. Got used to this state of what was and will hardly be again, also because wanting it anew, I don’t, I may still want you, and forever, but don’t need you no more nor see you.
Now I want myself, solely, and know this part of me I carry ended up being just what I needed so that this other “me” who in me didn’t live before, could come at last and to stay. Thank you.