Exactly three years ago I’d be getting ready to go out for the first time. That Saturday night was new to me, I was still trying to perceive what was leading me there and it was you all along. You created this urge within myself, I learned how to act and take action for a cause, a will only one could sense, maybe you as well, but now I can see you never cared that much.
Three years ago I felt a new drunken joy. You convinced me to go somewhere I’ve never been before, to experience something that turned out exquisitely funny.
Two years ago we reunited again and I had been missing you so much. I felt tranquil. I watched you, so much, only so I could then imagine you better when the night died and the common lone day emerging, follows life with sobriety.
Last year there was no party and I really started felling the distance rooting amongst us. I congratulated you in scarce bare lines of text, you replied and it was all. I remember sobbing in the dark silence semi-wrapped in my blankets, scarce minutes before midnight but still your day, desperate and rawly aching for a hug I haven’t had the chance to feel this time. There I stood, sad by the white screen of my iPod, struggling to fall asleep that night.
This year there will be no words from you, I’m silent and so are you. We don’t know each other anymore, but I can still remember how I felt in all these previous nights. It’s hard to forget the only moments which meant what I can hardly describe, late hours that gave me all I could wish for. So this Tuesday, exactly three years later, I still remind part of what I felt in the first night, another chunk of the second and the gone misery of the third. I try to reminisce and hold them all in my mind, for this year I don’t know what should I think of, or feel or miss though I keep thinking of you and feeling the same as always to only end up missing your eyes and smile, as intensily as usual. I do and by doing so, I can’t avoid but to wish you the same very best you so clearly deserve.
Happy birthday to you! Oh yes, I remembered, but well… how could I not recall a day I can never really forget?