Maybe you are shy or perhaps don’t feel like boring your closest friends with depressing love talks. I understand. And I advise you to do it anyway, they really won’t mind (especially women, they require a considerable dose of intimate gossiping once in a while).
Sometimes we feel that if we fight it all on our own, we’ll win, we’ll be proud of ourselves for handling this unbearable pain without notice. Grown-ups resolve things alone, in their silent boiling head. There is no need for cheating or breaking the rules by crying in someone else’s shoulder. We are not that weak.
However, I tell you something. One day, after a sleepless night caused by uninterrupted thinking, you will find yourself sitting alone, gazing the gray pebbles on the ground, and your best friend approaches you like everyday. But today is not everyday! Today you will tell everything, you just don’t know it yet.
Your classmate sat aside you, watches you worn-down and quiet, and interrogates you, seeking an explanation: “You are not fine today! What’s the matter?”
You may try denying the obvious. “I’m just like every other day, no worries!”, but your heart wants to break free and express itself. You must confess and unknot your tangled brain, loosen your tongue and dry those inner tears, he commands. And you tell it all, you purposefully cornered yourself in that moment so you can tell it. You want that ear to hear you, to know you’re real and sensitive, to understand and notice you are there and have a colossal burden to dispose of, otherwise it will end up smashing the life out of you. It already is!
You converse for two or three hours, maybe the entire afternoon.
In the end, feelings were shared and doubts reasoned. A lighter version of you starts to rise with each word spat to your mate’s nonjudging earhole. You start inflating with the burning sunset light rays, you finally grin, a modest but humble smile.
Who would imagine that sharing bad stuff can actually help!? Yeah, it feels good to know you are not the only one aware of what’s killing you. People exist, they are nice and can help. That’s what friends are for, right!?!
So come on! Try to overthink tonight. Tomorrow you want to show up with some evident dark circles and dying mood so your friend can finally ask you:
“You are not fine today! What’s the matter?”